Written by: Griffen Jarchow
The title of this piece is inherently paradoxical. By definition, thankless means “difficult or unpleasant and not likely to bring one pleasure of the appreciation of others”, whereas giving means “providing love or other emotional support; caring”. The two terms contradict heavily, yet, as Thanksgiving nears its time once again, I cannot help but notice society shifting further into a state of “thankless-giving” rather than thanksgiving. If “thankless-giving” is truly paradoxical in nature, how can one reside in such a state? The answer is pretty simple:: as our culture becomes more materialistic, we also become more thankless. Rather than filling our lives with life-giving relationships and healthy habits, we far too often look to products and materials in hopes that they will fulfill our lives. These people, you and I even, find it easier to adopt a thankless posture for the things we already have because we are constantly looking to the next best thing instead of than what is already around us. 
Personally, I do not want to fall into such a state, and I hope that I have not in years past. Instead, I wish to rekindle the true spirit of Thanksgiving this year, not just for me, but also all those around me. I invite you to do the same. Thankfully, the flame can be easily lit both by talk or action. Whether it be a smile rising above a sea of downcast heads, a greeting left to linger in the crisp fall air, or a wave spurring life into a lifeless expanse, never underestimate the weight of your actions. You never know what someone may need on any given day. Outside of these simple remedies, there are a few simple practices that you and I can implement in order to bring ourselves, and those around us, back into the true spirit of Thanksgiving.
The first method I urge everyone to begin practicing is simply using one another’s names. A person’s name is a powerful thing. One could argue that there is no sweeter sound to the ears than the sound of one’s own name ringing through the air. When you use someone’s name, either in greeting or within the turn of conversation, it opens a relational door. People feel seen, heard, and known when their name is used. I am sure you can relate to this in some degree. Think back to a time when your name has been used within conversation. Did it garner your interest? Bring you in on the conversation? Make you feel like you belonged? If any of those feelings resonate with you, then just think what kind of impact you can have on those around you just by implementing the use of names in your daily conversations.
My next suggestion may prove a little more challenging for some, but I can assure you that it works wonders. The suggestion goes as: tell people that you are thankful for them. Ideally, this is done in person, but I will note that it is still effective if done over a text or a phone call. There is a good chance that there is at least someone in your life that you are grateful for or at least appreciate. When was the last time you verbalized these feelings to them? When you let people know you are grateful for them, you strengthen your relationship with that person and create an environment to grow closer to that person. If that is not enough, expressing gratitude has been proven to increase your own physical and mental health in a number of ways. Try it out with a text at first with someone you are comfortable and see the effect. I promise you will not be disappointed.
The final idea I offer to you in order to rekindle the spirit of Thanksgiving is be generous with your time. Time is valuable, and how you use your time is indicative of what, and who, you value. Everyone is always clamoring to use their time efficiently or somehow find more time than they have. I would implore you to try the opposite. Be generous with your time with people you value. These extra moments can create memories and deepen relationships, especially when you could be spending your time elsewhere. Now, I am not saying that you need to sacrifice entire blocks of your schedule just to let people know that you value them. Rather, people are often more appreciative of the few extra minutes taken when saying goodbye, a conversation had in passing, and the moments where you allow yourself to be interrupted.
As Thanksgiving lies just around the corner, the topic of being thankful resurfaces amongst the public. However, if we take these practices seriously, we do not need to allow our thankfulness to be exclusive to this time of year. Rather, we can allow our daily lives to be ingrained with thankfulness and giving instead of living in a constant season of “thankless-giving.”
References
Allen, S. (2018). The Science of Gratitude. Greater Good Science Center. https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdf
Health benefits of gratitude. (2023, March 22). Www.uclahealth.org. https://www.uclahealth.org/news/article/health-benefits-gratitude
