Skip to main content

The pain of a miscarriage staggers comprehension. Such bewildering, helpless grief emerging out of a life barely begun. Where is the hope in that? Tina Boonstra somehow finds a mustard seed of it in her new song If I Could. It is this week’s Top Song on The MEL. It’s a powerful anthem that soars with hope amidst the anger, agony and grief of losing a baby.

Boonstra says a friend recently suffered a miscarriage and that she was confounded with a stat that claimed one in four parents have experienced one. She says she couldn’t imagine being “In the waiting room sitting next to someone you love, and then feeling every good thing in your life slowly slip away. There’s nothing you can do to stop the clock. No way to press pause.”

She’s right. There is nothing you can do. You can only sit in the pain. But what if you could do something? What if you could help build some one back up till they are stronger that we ever knew? That’s her cry in the song even though, alas, you still can’t do anything.

Boonstra says, “It’s happening to you, but worse it’s happening to her. And you can’t save her, or protect her, or soften the blow. And you feel, for the first time in your life, utterly helpless.”

There is nothing you can do. You can only steep in the hurt. However, in her song, Boonstra offers this angry, painful. honest, yet hopeful prayer that it will happen. It just isn’t up to us. Only God can bring that kind of healing.

You can check out the song on the MEL or the link below. Other songs on our Top Songs list include new music from NF, Blessing Offer, KJ-52, Jervis Campbell, Tylerhateslife and Leeland.


1Tina BoonstraIf I Could
2KJ-52No Bad Days (w/ Peabod)
3Blessing OfforRollin’
4Jervis CampbellHope
5BenjiAll Good
7LeelandStill Mighty
8TylerhatesLifeKeep That Light On
9GioMess It Up
10Wilder WoodsMaestro Tears Don’t Lie
11Terrible SonsHold Your Light High
12JosephNervous System
13Lathan WarlickLook Up to the Sky (w/ Blessing Offor)
14Brandon HeathThis Changes Everything
15Social Club MisfitsGot What You Need (w/ Jordan Feliz)
16LecraeTake Me Up
17TrampolinesHey You ( w/ Aaron Cole)
18Caedmon’s CallClose of Autumn (w/ Jonatha Brooke)
19for King & CountryLove Me Like I Am (w/ Jordin Sparks)
20Jenny & TylerRunning Toward the Light
21Kash KadeDevoted
22HenrikDig my Grave
23Gable Price and FriendsEasy To Love You
24Jonathan TraylorThis Kind of Love
25Common HymnalRocks (w/ Royce Lovett)
26Kurtis HoppieI Am
27Colony HouseCannonballers
28LJ the MessengerSatchmo
30Thunderstorm ArtisTake Me to the Fire
31U2Beautiful Day (Songs of Surrender)
32Lauren DaigleThank God I Do
33LJ the MessengerYou Kept Me
34JudahAnything Is Possible
35Colony HouseOne of Those Days
36Da’ T.R.U.T.H.Crown
37Jess RayBorn Again
38Jet TroubleIt’s Coming
39Hannah Honeygoandtell
40CortesSay I
41CitizensWhen We Pray
42Tina BoonstraCall Me Thomas
43Apollo LTDRun
44Thunderstorm ArtisOh Little River
45nobigdyl.One Way
46Rachel LampaPerfectly Loved (w/ Toby Mac)
47Tauren WellsUp
48Social Club MisfitsUnstoppable (w/ Ryan Ellis)
49Gable Price and FriendsHow It Sets You Free (w/ Jon Foreman)
50Kelsey BreedloveHoney from the Rock
52BlancaSomething Better
53Miles MinnickGodspeed
54Sarah ReevesJeolousy
55Sajan NauriyalMorning Always Comes
56Brandon HeathThat’s Enough
57U2Pride- In the Name of Love (2023)
58Christa WellsBody and Soul
59ChastityLove So Sweet (w/ Porsha Love)
60Thunderstorm ArtisStronger
61Candace CokerBare and Bones
62Wood Drake SessionsOh How Good to Be Together (w/ Sandra McCracken)
63Marcus RogersGod Is Good
64Dan BremnesFingerprints
65Joe GarzaSeason of Waiting
66Jervis CampbellLet’s Go Home
67TylerhatesLifeKeyboard Warriors
68Ella DrablosEvergreen
69LJ the MessengerGood-n-Bad
70Apollo LTDSoul Worth Saving
71Blessing OfforYour Love
72Matthew ParkerBird’s Eye View
73Jeminah PaineClosure
75LovknLean Back
76John Mark McMillanHas It Been You
77Madison Ryann WardProdigal
78Half * AliveEverything Machine
79Ben RectorHeroes
80Aaron ColeHands
81ColorvaultDwell in Your House
82Evvie McKinneyJust Like God
83GungorI Forgive you (remix)
84Mat KearneyTimes Like This (w/ Devon Gilfillian)
85SoulboxNobody Like You
86EikonYour Love Is
87WandeThey Didn’t Know II
89NeedtobreatheTalk of The Town (acoustic)
90JOHNNYSWIMSing It Outloud (w/ Drew Holcomb)
91GungorA Million I’s
92LecraeBest Thing
93Trip LeeHomecoming
94SansonneIn My Head
95Die-rekYear of Redemption
97Drew Holcomb & The NeighborsDance With Everybody (w/ The National Parks)
98SoulboxNobody Like You
99Trombone ShortyWhat It Takes (feat. Lauren Daigle)
100The Porter’s GateDeclaring Glory (W/ Jon Guerra & Audrey Assad)