The pain of a miscarriage staggers comprehension. Such bewildering, helpless grief emerging out of a life barely begun. Where is the hope in that? Tina Boonstra somehow finds a mustard seed of it in her new song If I Could. It is this week’s Top Song on The MEL. It’s a powerful anthem that soars with hope amidst the anger, agony and grief of losing a baby.
Boonstra says a friend recently suffered a miscarriage and that she was confounded with a stat that claimed one in four parents have experienced one. She says she couldn’t imagine being “In the waiting room sitting next to someone you love, and then feeling every good thing in your life slowly slip away. There’s nothing you can do to stop the clock. No way to press pause.”
She’s right. There is nothing you can do. You can only sit in the pain. But what if you could do something? What if you could help build some one back up till they are stronger that we ever knew? That’s her cry in the song even though, alas, you still can’t do anything.
Boonstra says, “It’s happening to you, but worse it’s happening to her. And you can’t save her, or protect her, or soften the blow. And you feel, for the first time in your life, utterly helpless.”
There is nothing you can do. You can only steep in the hurt. However, in her song, Boonstra offers this angry, painful. honest, yet hopeful prayer that it will happen. It just isn’t up to us. Only God can bring that kind of healing.
You can check out the song on the MEL or the link below. Other songs on our Top Songs list include new music from NF, Blessing Offer, KJ-52, Jervis Campbell, Tylerhateslife and Leeland.
TOP SONGS ON THE MEL 3.20.23
| Artist | Song | |
| 1 | Tina Boonstra | If I Could |
| 2 | KJ-52 | No Bad Days (w/ Peabod) |
| 3 | Blessing Offor | Rollin’ |
| 4 | Jervis Campbell | Hope |
| 5 | Benji | All Good |
| 6 | NF | Hope |
| 7 | Leeland | Still Mighty |
| 8 | TylerhatesLife | Keep That Light On |
| 9 | Gio | Mess It Up |
| 10 | Wilder Woods | Maestro Tears Don’t Lie |
| 11 | Terrible Sons | Hold Your Light High |
| 12 | Joseph | Nervous System |
| 13 | Lathan Warlick | Look Up to the Sky (w/ Blessing Offor) |
| 14 | Brandon Heath | This Changes Everything |
| 15 | Social Club Misfits | Got What You Need (w/ Jordan Feliz) |
| 16 | Lecrae | Take Me Up |
| 17 | Trampolines | Hey You ( w/ Aaron Cole) |
| 18 | Caedmon’s Call | Close of Autumn (w/ Jonatha Brooke) |
| 19 | for King & Country | Love Me Like I Am (w/ Jordin Sparks) |
| 20 | Jenny & Tyler | Running Toward the Light |
| 21 | Kash Kade | Devoted |
| 22 | Henrik | Dig my Grave |
| 23 | Gable Price and Friends | Easy To Love You |
| 24 | Jonathan Traylor | This Kind of Love |
| 25 | Common Hymnal | Rocks (w/ Royce Lovett) |
| 26 | Kurtis Hoppie | I Am |
| 27 | Colony House | Cannonballers |
| 28 | LJ the Messenger | Satchmo |
| 29 | Hulvey | Closer |
| 30 | Thunderstorm Artis | Take Me to the Fire |
| 31 | U2 | Beautiful Day (Songs of Surrender) |
| 32 | Lauren Daigle | Thank God I Do |
| 33 | LJ the Messenger | You Kept Me |
| 34 | Judah | Anything Is Possible |
| 35 | Colony House | One of Those Days |
| 36 | Da’ T.R.U.T.H. | Crown |
| 37 | Jess Ray | Born Again |
| 38 | Jet Trouble | It’s Coming |
| 39 | Hannah Honey | goandtell |
| 40 | Cortes | Say I |
| 41 | Citizens | When We Pray |
| 42 | Tina Boonstra | Call Me Thomas |
| 43 | Apollo LTD | Run |
| 44 | Thunderstorm Artis | Oh Little River |
| 45 | nobigdyl. | One Way |
| 46 | Rachel Lampa | Perfectly Loved (w/ Toby Mac) |
| 47 | Tauren Wells | Up |
| 48 | Social Club Misfits | Unstoppable (w/ Ryan Ellis) |
| 49 | Gable Price and Friends | How It Sets You Free (w/ Jon Foreman) |
| 50 | Kelsey Breedlove | Honey from the Rock |
| 51 | Trulah | Canvas |
| 52 | Blanca | Something Better |
| 53 | Miles Minnick | Godspeed |
| 54 | Sarah Reeves | Jeolousy |
| 55 | Sajan Nauriyal | Morning Always Comes |
| 56 | Brandon Heath | That’s Enough |
| 57 | U2 | Pride- In the Name of Love (2023) |
| 58 | Christa Wells | Body and Soul |
| 59 | Chastity | Love So Sweet (w/ Porsha Love) |
| 60 | Thunderstorm Artis | Stronger |
| 61 | Candace Coker | Bare and Bones |
| 62 | Wood Drake Sessions | Oh How Good to Be Together (w/ Sandra McCracken) |
| 63 | Marcus Rogers | God Is Good |
| 64 | Dan Bremnes | Fingerprints |
| 65 | Joe Garza | Season of Waiting |
| 66 | Jervis Campbell | Let’s Go Home |
| 67 | TylerhatesLife | Keyboard Warriors |
| 68 | Ella Drablos | Evergreen |
| 69 | LJ the Messenger | Good-n-Bad |
| 70 | Apollo LTD | Soul Worth Saving |
| 71 | Blessing Offor | Your Love |
| 72 | Matthew Parker | Bird’s Eye View |
| 73 | Jeminah Paine | Closure |
| 74 | Peabod | Alive |
| 75 | Lovkn | Lean Back |
| 76 | John Mark McMillan | Has It Been You |
| 77 | Madison Ryann Ward | Prodigal |
| 78 | Half * Alive | Everything Machine |
| 79 | Ben Rector | Heroes |
| 80 | Aaron Cole | Hands |
| 81 | Colorvault | Dwell in Your House |
| 82 | Evvie McKinney | Just Like God |
| 83 | Gungor | I Forgive you (remix) |
| 84 | Mat Kearney | Times Like This (w/ Devon Gilfillian) |
| 85 | Soulbox | Nobody Like You |
| 86 | Eikon | Your Love Is |
| 87 | Wande | They Didn’t Know II |
| 88 | WHATUPRG | Kids |
| 89 | Needtobreathe | Talk of The Town (acoustic) |
| 90 | JOHNNYSWIM | Sing It Outloud (w/ Drew Holcomb) |
| 91 | Gungor | A Million I’s |
| 92 | Lecrae | Best Thing |
| 93 | Trip Lee | Homecoming |
| 94 | Sansonne | In My Head |
| 95 | Die-rek | Year of Redemption |
| 96 | Limoblaze | Jireh |
| 97 | Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors | Dance With Everybody (w/ The National Parks) |
| 98 | Soulbox | Nobody Like You |
| 99 | Trombone Shorty | What It Takes (feat. Lauren Daigle) |
| 100 | The Porter’s Gate | Declaring Glory (W/ Jon Guerra & Audrey Assad) |
